Thursday, 23 October 2014

Daddy Wisdom...

"Kids today are unruly by nature.   Give them a piece of string and they'll take a ball of string."

"Mistakes are littered through history.   The book always falls down."

"To quote a phrase, it might turn out to be a bit Heath Robinson."

"If the horse won't go to Mohammed."

"They're in the lap of the gods of the post office."

"For quite a while and many moons..."

Actually just finished a sentence with the phrase "question mark."

"We're going to have to have a long hard sit down."

"The cards are in their hands.   Until they shuffle the pack."

Daddy:      "Squozen.   It's the past tense of squeezed."
Tom:         "No squeezed is the past tense of squeeze."
Daddy:      "Squozen is the state of the item that has been squeezed.    Squozen orange juice."
Mummy:   "Why does it not say freshly squozen orange juice on bottles then?"
Daddy:      "Because they are fresh.  When they are not fresh they are squozen."
Mummy:   "You are insane."

"Long time no speak, as they say, life goes on, as they say."

"They'll sing you a good song but you'll pay the price for it."

"You lose.  You snooze."

Listening to a lady complain that she doesn't like being called a lady as it is demeaning:
Mummy:     "I like it.  I am a lady."
Daddy:        "It's a throwback to all this women's lib crap from the 80s.  You can't say anything now without offending someone.   I don't like being called a man.  It makes me sound like a beast."
Mummy:    "From now on we will call you a chap then."

"Do you know why I'm so efficient?   Cos I don't chatter for hours on end about nothing."


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