Daddy on shopping.

Minihuman:   "HMV is going into administration."
Daddy:           "I was in there on Saturday.  We ought to go at the weekend and buy even more."
Mummy:        "What do you mean even more?   You didn't buy anything."
Daddy:           "I know."

Daddy:       "I'm going to Tesco.  Does anybody want anything?"
Colleague: "Can I have a can of coke?"
Daddy:      "Do they even sell cans any more?"

Colleague:  "Would you like anything from the shop?"
Daddy:       "Yes please.   Could you get me some luxury moooosli for my pudding?"
Colleague: "Moooosli?   Muesli.  What kind of a freak eats cereal for pudding?"
Mummy:    "What kind of a freak has a pudding after their lunch?  You're not a toddler."

"I'm not paying 5p for a carrier bag, I'll carry this loo brush all round Cardiff instead."

"The only people in Tesco at that time of night are stack shelfers."

Phones Mummy from town:
"You were right.  It isn't Pret A Manager after all."

Mummy:      "Amazon want to know my rating for War and Peace."
Daddy:         "The TV programme?"
Mummy:      "No the book."
Daddy:         "You haven't read it."
Mummy:      "If I hadn't read it they wouldn't be asking for my rating."
Daddy:         "I bet you sped through the boring bits."
Mummy:      "That is not how grown ups read."

Daddy:      "I got them on a 2 for 3 deal."
Mummy:   "That's not a good deal."

Wanted to buy new pyjamas.  Went to look at them in Primark.  Went home.  Thought about it for a week.  Went back.   Took fifteen minutes to choose a pair.
Bought a new car on a whim after passing it on a garage forecourt on his way back home from dinner.