Saturday, 25 April 2015

Technically speaking.

On the phone:   "Trim...Trim...no Trim...T R Y M.  As in adjusting the wings on an aeroplane."

Daddy:       "Multicoloured is multicoloured.  You can see reds, yellows, greens, you know, colours.  And black is predominantly..."
Mummy:    "Black?"

"They self cleaned themselves clean."

"You could call it...if you really want to twist the envelope."

"It wasn't a big explosion.  Just a thull dud."

"It's mega superior."

"Great.  Brilliant.  Fantastic.  Excellent.  Excellente."

"Do you have anything of anything?"

"This is dirt slow."

"It looks like an Aero.  Sort of bubblified."

"I'll see if they've prequelly got any in stock."

"I very much doubt there will be damages but I very much suspect there will be."

"You can obviously probably definitely do that."

"It will indemnify any failure in the product."

"What shade of yellow are we talking about?  Post it note yellow?  Or straw?  Or, you know, when you go to the toilet."

"We want the copies back with hard ink on them."

"Some are gloss and some are more matty."

"Two to three weeks is overcooking it probably."

"You very rarely get one that is accurate or right."

"Suddenly it becomes non standard, then suddenly it's there, then suddenly it's gone again, then suddenly it appears again."

Daddy just told an engineer what vacuum forming is.  Talk about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs.

"It's been properly done properly.  On a proper machine."

"It's like a fine wine this yellow nylon."

"Cutting it tends to alleviate some of the cost of carriage."

"Daddy:       "It's a more sophisticated machine so it's going to need more sophisticated staff to use it."
Mummy:     "Are you suggesting they should come to work wearing monacles and smoking jackets?"

"He's probably getting seduced by key words like phenolic or synthetic resin bonded laminate."

"Doing it like that means you are cutting the sheet in an unfriendly way."

"You could even write on it 'our batch number *blows raspberry*, manufacturers batch number *blows another raspberry*'"

"It's a proper machining job, by a machinist."

"That won't work at all.  It's too stringily and cheesily."

Customer:    "Is it suitable for under water?"
Daddy:         "Well that depends.  If it's 10 foot under yes.  If it's miles and miles where there's fish that you've never seen before... who knows."

"It's a thermal insulator, just like your jumper insulates your body."

Daddy:     "It's rigid.   That means you can't bend it round a tree."
Mummy:  "A tree?  Did they want to bend it round a tree?"
Daddy:     "No, but that's a common use."

"...we've only got one fork lift truck.  The other one is up the duff."
PREGNANT??

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